Men love the Victoria Secret Fashion show more than women do. It would probably be the most watched event among men if the commercials were funnier and it was sponsored by Bud Light. There’s just so much more to it for guys… so many questions:
- “That’s underwear?”
- “Wait… Bra’s cost how much??”
- “So that’s the positive side of anorexia?”
Most of all – it’s like window shopping for men: Looking at what we will probably never be able to obtain.
Here’s my warning: Do not… I repeat… Do NOT watch this show with your girlfriend. It is the opening gate to the end of your relationship. The questions girls have watching this are much different.
- “Should I go on a diet?”
- “Would you cheat on me with her?”
- “Do you actually think she is pretty?”
Answer: Yes. Yes…. You bet! So seriously… watching this show with a girlfriend is a fight waiting to happen. Try avoiding the conflict by adding alcohol. I present to you the VSFS Drinking Game.
- Pick your favorite color – drink every time your color appears.
- Pick your favorite type of hair color – drink every time your hair color appears.
- Drink every time that ass is out of this world.
- Drink every time one of your girl friend’s says “She’s not even that pretty”
- Drink every time you get pissed the cameras cut to the musical act.
- Take a shot every time you get a hard on.
- Drink every time you contemplate a gym membership.
- Drink every time you touch your chest and shed a tear.
- Drink every time you say “I want that!”
- Drink every time you’re motivated to hit the gym and/or develop an eating disorder.
- Drink every time you get up and look at yourself in the mirror and ask “God, why?”
- Take a shot every time you have a lesbian tendency.
- Take a sip for every thong.
- Continuous drinking through commercials.
- Take a shot if Jay Z and Kanye perform Otis
- Cat Walk Disaster -If a model trips, stumbles or falls flat on her amazingly sculpted behind – chug your drink!
- Take a sip if Nicki Minaj performs super bass.
- If a model speaks and she has an accent – drink. So that’s all of them right?
- Drink every time the announcers say “oh my god!”
- Every time they show a celebrity in the crowd drink.
- Smile for the Camera – If a model winks, smiles, puts her hands on her hips or blows a kiss to the camera – you drink.
- Drink every time you hear the word “Angel” or “Wings”
- Chug a beer if you decide there’s no way that bra would every actually be worn
- Drink every time you look at a crotch before any other part of the body for whatever reason.
- Boobie Bling – Whenever a model comes out in a bar that looks like it costs more than a college tuitions – drink up. We are talking about you Miranda Kerr, 2.5 million dollars, really? I wish my boobs were worth that much.
- If the show breaks out in to an orgy; go buy out Wal-Mart’s supply of everything that gives you a buzz.
There you have it. Enjoy the show. Prepare for the increase of girls at the gym tomorrow who decide it’s time to hit the gym. That notion usually lasts a back to week then life returns to normal. Fatties.