Cupid Wants a Blowie

Cupid Wants a Blowie

As Valentine’s Day approaches us, we shant forget its sole motivator, the real reason your man might go out of his way to remember to make a dinner reservation the night before the 14th, or drown you in cheap Russel Stover confections—the almighty beej. Girl, your...

The 10 Types of Alcoholics

The only thing better than a group of friends is a group of alcoholic friends. You may think your besties as an extension of yourself in a different body… but you only know so much about a person until you get them absolutely blacked the fuck out. The type of...
Throwback Thursday: You’re Doing It Wrong

Throwback Thursday: You’re Doing It Wrong

What? You used to be THAT little? Wait, what?! You were a baby at one point in your life, too?! OMG, me TOO! I am SO interested in seeing ALL your baby pictures. I thought I was the ONLY one who used to be that small! Said no one ever. Throwback Thursday is great...
How to Piss a Girl Off

How to Piss a Girl Off

If you have a Twitter, you’d know one of yesterday’s global trending topics was #howtopissagirloff. If you don’t have a Twitter, well then—in the words of Kat Williams—I don’t know what the fuck you’ve been doing with your life. The best part about trending topics on...
Why You’re Single

Why You’re Single

Thought Catalog recently posted a cupcake-stuffed article called “Why You’re Single,” and although it made me feel better about myself, it was a load of emotional horse shit. I could feel the tears dripping out of the horse’s asshole. Here’s why you’re really single....