2013 Oscars Drinking Game

2013 Oscars Drinking Game

While celebrities are deciding what to wear, make up your mind about your alcohol choice because it’s time to play the 2013 Oscars Drinking Game (Up there it is, they said it.) For those  of you who don’t get the reference in the parentheses, it is a Family Guy reference to the episode about saying the title of something in the article, movie or show. Why am I making a Family Guy reference you ask? Well it is in honor of none other than this years Oscar host Peter Griffin aka Seth MacFarlane. He may not have a chin shaped like a ball sack but  he will help you get drunk. Whenever Seth MacFarlane…. Talks in a voice other than his own, take a sip. Makes a Family Guy reference, take a sip. Makes someone in the audience uncomfortable, take a sip. Makes a comment about the award being a naked man, take off a piece of clothing. Whenever Zero Dark Thirty wins an Oscar, chug your drink because of ‘Merica. Whenever Les Misérables wins an oscar talk in a French accent. First to fuck up drinks If you pronounced “Les Misérables” like “lay-Mizer-ahbles” take a sip. If Bradley Cooper wins, ladies chug until the guys around you look almost as good as that hot-speaks fluent French- guy. If Silver Linings Playbook doesn’t win don’t worry, it has its own silver lining, take a sip. If Django Unchained wins take a shot to freedom and a shot to revenge. Asshole Option: Whenever someone says your name reply “The D is silent“ Take a sip if Jennifer Lawrence makes a snarky comment about another celebrity in...
Instagram Drinking Game

Instagram Drinking Game

Take a sip… Every time someone says #nofilter Every time someone does a tbt to last weekend When the majority of someone’s instagram are filtered selfies Every time the hashtags exceed 5 Every time Kim Kardasian instagrams a photo with her ass in it Every time a photo is picstiched Every time someone instagrams a quote Every time someone instagrams food Every time you get hungry because of the amount of food pictures there are. If someone instagrams their nails. Every time you see a drunk instagram Every time there are sunsets clouds or the sky Every time it’s a picture of someone’s pet Instagrams their fashionable outfit Every time someone blatantly tries to show off their boobs or butt Take a shot… Every time someone instagrams their cat. They may be cat ladies but you sure as hell are preventing that. Bottle to the face if you make the popular...
Dear Mayans

Dear Mayans

First I would like to say I am currently writing to you in the comfort of my hospital bed. Why am I in a hospital bed you ask? Well let me start this by saying fuck you. You said the world was going to end on the 21st. This led me to the decision that instead of being eaten by a zombie or being left of earth during the rapture, (we all know I wouldn’t of went to heaven) I would rather take too many shots until I blackout the last moments of actual civilization. You know, I’ve made all of my decisions this past semester based on the fact I wouldn’t have to face the consequences of them next semester. I completed my college bucket list, which was supposed to last me 4 years, in one semester. The kind of reputation I just got myself was supposed to land me in Hell or Purgatory, not next semester. Safe to say I did a lot of stupid shit because “the end was near.” Not only did I blow the past school sluts records out of the water but now I am poor because someone thought it was a good Idea to start a tab on my credit card. I won’t name names but I’m betting it was my drunk alter ego. Oh yea and remember how half of college is actually learning stuff? Well I didn’t want stupid classes to rain on my end of the world parade so I made them all pass-fail. None of those classes count for my major now. At least this will give me...
Snap Chatting People You Like

Snap Chatting People You Like

Snap Chatting is the greatest thing created. Not only can you send your friend a semi provocative text but now you can add a half stupid looking half sexy picture to go with it. The people behind this App should be considered modern geniuses. If you haven’t got the update I suggest you do. Although the addition of snap videos has single handedly made drunk communication 10 times more dangerous it has also made it 10 times more entertaining. There are a couple of issues with snap chat though. First if you snap chat in class, you will have no friends in that class. People will be to scared to approach you after you made that almost psychotic face at your phone. Yes a majority of people in your class probably snap chat too but it’s still not socially acceptable to look like a serial killer every other minute in your class. Second it gets hard to come up with weird and different ugly faces to send your friends. Finally this only applies to people who were graced with the user name of their college crush. Now you have a couple of things to worry about. 1) The Picture -Now you cant just go the ole I look constipated look with a sexy twist anymore. Instead of making it your goal to make your friends feel uncomfortable as they witness this side of you in 3-5 seconds you now how an entirely different goal. You now have to make yourself look hot while looking ugly. One can’t simply send a sexy or hot snap chat without being judged for...
Stranger Danger

Stranger Danger

So we’ve all been fed the same educational lines from our parents our whole lives. From “Don’t take candy from strangers” to “Don’t talk to strangers”, the lessons they’ve told us have been all piled into the memorable saying “Stranger Danger.” Now being older and wiser we look back on those saying and think to ourselves “What were they thinking?” Strangers are what make the world go round. You and you’re best friend were strangers before you met. Everyone you have met has been a stranger before hand. On Halloween who did you take candy from? A stranger. Now lets apply this faulty rule to college. Who did you make out with last night? A stranger. We are all college students so lets replace strangers with a word that has a better connotation to it. Randoms or Randos or whatever you call them are the reason your sexcapades are a semi well kept secret. They are the reason the health center runs countless STD tests a semester. Randos are the reasons we have the stories we do. In college, relationships are your problem and a combination of cheap alcohol and subpar randoms are your solution. If you want to go to a party and hookup with someone, who you wont possibly remember their name when you walk of shame home, then you are set. Take a look around. Guys, the girls are so drunk that any of your lame pick up lines will work. ”Hey do you know how much a polar bear weights? *girl blankly stares at him * Enough to break the ice, hi I’m Connor.” Girls, the...