When I left for college I had already had quite a bit of experience with boys. I had already been to the college parties and since sneaking boys into my room to hook up had never sounded very appealing, I found guys old enough to have apartments of their own to bring me to. When I left for college, I was already crazy. Crazy as in wild but I mean, I was probably mentally crazy too. Whatevs. And I was already a slut. I had been everything that these fresh new faces I was meeting were so eagerly awaiting to be. And unlike them, I was already tired. I had sex. Actually, I had lots of sex. And I knew great sex. But unlike the girls that had less experience than me and wanted to show their wild side, I wanted something more. I wanted love.
And as a freshman in college I knew that wanting love was a completely insane thought. Most guys starting college had little experience with the college parties and lifestyle that I had spent my prior year living. Basically, they were ready to get laid. And most of the girls here were ready too. Why would a guy want to settle down when he can have sex by simply spending some time flirting with a girl and telling her that her boobs looked pretty? I knew the answer was that he probably didn’t. But as with any insane thought, that didn’t stop me. As I thought about my goals throughout my first few weeks of college, I began to realize, most guys were not going to give me what I now wanted. They were not going to fall head over heels for me, date me, or as I learned from prior experience, some wouldn’t even be texting me back. And realistically, that was most guys I was going to encounter in my four years here. I was thinking of the rule that the general male population followed. And after reading the book and watching the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You, I learned that the rules are crystal clear and meant to be followed. You should see the signs and accept defeat and realize there are no exceptions. I had already realized that based on my age and situation of being at a party college and going to parties I was not going to find love in this college town. It was also apparent Luke Bryan had lied to me. So I had begun to accept that most guys weren’t going to fall for me. After all, that was the rule right? But they say the rules are meant to be broken. And I started to wonder, why was I searching for someone that fit into a general category of the male population? Why should I accept this rule? Because of research on the male brain? Because of tracking social behaviors and evidence that this is the way men think at this stage in their life? Countless Cosmo polls and articles perhaps? Should I believe this rule because some book got made into a movie and made plausible sense? I began to realize this rule that everyone seemed to abide by was in fact based on true logic. But this was love. And I wasn’t going to accept it. I was going to except it.
What I mean by that is, why accept the rules when we can find an exception? Why let one rule dictate the way we think or act? Because of logic? I didn’t want to believe in fact and logic. I wanted to believe in love. And I think if we are to believe in love, we need to also believe in a little bit of delusion. Now you must think I’m certifiably crazy. Haha well I mean probably. However, I was still pretty sure I was onto something here. In order to believe in love, we need delusion. Why? Well, it’s delusion that let’s us think we can get the hot guy in our lecture hall to notice us by dressing up for class just to only end up asking him to borrow a pen. It’s delusion that let’s us believe we can eat endless nights of Papa John’s drunk at 2 AM and not gain a single pound. And it’s that delusion that let’s us think we can drink all night before an exam without studying, and still pass with flying colors. It’s delusion that holds us together. And what fun would we have without it?
Fact and logic; two very important things when it comes to college. But I think fact is for the textbooks, logic for the professors, and rules should be kept only in the classroom. When we accept the way things are, we lose control over our lives. And losing control should really only be reserved for Thirsty Thursdays. So here is what I came up with. If you want to believe in love, believe in it. This is your college experience, and you are free to dictate as you please. Believe in delusion, because it’s the hope that gets us through each day, one class at a time. Especially when we’re hungover and just waiting for our next chance to nap. And if you want to find the exception that will one day fall head over heels in love with you, then you have to be the exception.