Your favorite (most tragic) juiceheads and meatballs are back on American soil, and you know what that means… time to bring back Thirsty Thursdays in style with a new #CTL Jersey Shore Drinking Game for Season 5! Of course we’ve kept some of the old favorites rules, but we’ve updated them as well for all new opportunities to irresponsibly imbibe when these loud oompa-lumpas grace your tv screen.
Season 5 Rules:
- We No Speak Americano – Drink anytime there’s a direct reference to the previous season, whether it’s remembering Dina’s dyke adventures or one the bros many failed attempts at game… we’re not in Italy anymore, baby: drink.
- #BOOM – Drink anytime there’s a mention of a grenade, you see a grenade, The Situation pretends his hook up isn’t a grenade, or the grenade whistle is blown.
- I Work Out – Girls drink anytime the guys hit the gym or one of them is shirtless… nice abs, bro: we get it, you work out, trying to compensate for something?
- Family Time – Anytime one of the cast’s family members comes to visit the shore house, take two drinks to dilute the awkwardness. *Shotgun a beer or take a shot if that family member takes off their clothes or hits on one the girls #dirtyuncleNino
- Monkey See, Monkey Do (or should I say, Gorilla?) – Drink whenever they drink! Try and go shot for shot, not gonna not.
- To Be Continued – Take a drink every time there’s a cliffhanger right before a commercial break… cheers to you, MTV.
- Never Have I Ever – Anytime one of the cast members does something you’d never do (at least not to everyone else’s knowledge), get a round of “Never Have I Ever” going during the next commercial break. Get that liver ready, sluts.
- DJ Pauly D – Take a drink every time Pauly says one of the following: 1) “Oh yeahhh” 2) “Cabs are here!” 3) “T-Shirt Time” or 4) “It’s DJ Pauly D, baby”
- Where Da Betch? – Drink every time there’s a mention of Angelina, or someone remembers her wonderfully, cellulite ridden self: I mean, why not?
- J-BOOBS – Bros drink every time there’s a direct shot of J-Woww’s kncokers. Finish your drink if there’s ever a nip-slip… please God, please.
- True Love? – Take a shot whenever Ronnie and Sam get into an argument over their relationship. Take two if Sam hits Ronnie (#ballandchain). Take three if Ronnie reciprocates by hitting the clubs, and on some grenades.
- U Mad, Bro? – Whenever there’s a fight, shotgun a beer/take a shot (pick your poison)
- Sunday Dinner – Cheers to the cast somewhat resembling a normal, civilized household. Take an extra drink for every member that’s either absent, or hammered… they have got the right idea.
- Neck Brace – Finish your drink if The Situation finds himself with another neck brace on, or any sort of cast really. Take a shot, additionally, if the injury’s self-inflicted by him running into a wall. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, you’re still fucking retarded.
- Free Snookie – If Snookie gets arrested, again, finish everything on the table #dumbbetch
There you have it, the updated #CTL Jersey Shore Drinking Game for Season 5. You made it through Italy, but are you ready to take on these idiots back on their home turf? Get your booze ready, slap on a jimmy, and get ready to get fucked by this new season; let’s go.