There are plenty of reasons not to be a slut. We’re all adults that have been through high school health so I won’t waste time talking about chlamydia, gonorrhea, or the syph. Maybe you’ve encountered them yourselves. But if rashes, infertility, and burning urine weren’t enough reasons to lock up your inner-skank, allow me to provide some insight. After all, there’s no better time to become a better you than now.
1. Awkward run-ins. My favorite thing to do at the gym is perch myself on an elliptical and survey the rest of the room. Now I’m by no means a slut but sometimes I find myself freaking out when I realize that two guys I’ve been down and dirty with are mere feet away and might even be spotting each other or whatever guys do to each other at the gym. Trust me, it’s not cute when worlds collide like that.
2. Less booty texts. Sometimes we make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes don’t pick up on hints and continue to text you long after that liquor-and-lust-filled night. No one likes to be a bitch and rejecting people is not fun.
3. Waking up in your own bed. This should never be underestimated. Chances are you’ve brushed your teeth, you know where your underwear is, you don’t reek of cologne, and you are ready to go stuff your still-slightly-intoxicated self with Waffle House and have girl-talk with roomzies.
4. Higher chance of getting a boyfriend. Despite all the BS that comes with relationships, boyfriends do pay for your dinner and college girls are poor. Also, they compliment you, are okay with just watching movies on Friday nights, start to not care when you don’t only wear thongs, and other nice things like that.
So ladies it’s time leave that extra shot and walk of shame behind you and usher in a new era of self-respect, feminist pride, and vaginal health.