Monday nights: a great time to grab a few drinks, eat a few wings, watch some good ol’ classic football and stay kind of sober because, well, you have class tomorrow.
That’s cool if you wanna live college like you’re already 32 and working. Everyone know that’s Tuesday’s are just “Monday: Part Tue,” which technically makes Monday another time to have a fun time. Tonight’s main event: The Presidential debate. Will it be as eventful as last time? Doesn’t matter. It’s time to get drinking.
Before the Debate Starts:
Mitt Romney will likely be a shade or orange. The darker he is, take a drink. Here’s your scale:
The Tampa Bay Gay Jersey Orange: 1 sip.
Rip Orange Fresh for Squeezing: 2 sips
Bic Lighter Orange: 3 Sips.
The Shade of Orange Snookies Child Will be Birthed at: Finish your beer.
Take a sip if Pres. Obama strolls out to the stage smiling. Shot gun your beer if his walk out music is “Dirt of Your Shoulder.”
Pick a tie color for each candidate. If you get your tie color correct. You’re safe. If wrong… Take a shot. (It’s gotta be two for two… we don’t go halfies on Presidents so no going halfsies on shots. ‘Murica.)
During the Debate:
-One guy cuts the other guy off.
-They refer to each other their full Title. (ex. President Obama, Governor Romney)
-One of the candidates points to the other.
-One of the candidates argues the rules with the mediator.
-One of the Candidates is stone cold shut up by the other.
Drink double when:
-Any candidate references school supplies(i.e. Binders, pencils, notebooks, trapper keepers etc.)
-The mediator looks more hungry than interested in what’s going on. (Drink if the mediator weighs less than 300lbs while you’re at it.)
-Any candidate answers their question by referring to the other candidate.
-The audience laughs or claps.
-The candidate references the location of the debate. (example: “I’d like to thank the state of florida/boca raton/this floor we are standing on,)
Sipping Words… Sip when every you hear:
Obamacare (drink twice cause this isn’t even a real word).
George Bush (Drink twice cause it’s a proper noun)
Take a shot and chug a beer if the candidate answers the question in under one minute and doesn’t beat around the bush the entire time.
At the end of the day, I’m voting for the guy that lowers tuition, lowers the drinking age, and ends the NHL lockout.