The Biggest Questions in Life

  • Can we hook up even though she puked?
  • Why is it that whenever I say, “never again” I always do it again?
  • Do I tell his is the smallest possibly in the world?
  • Can I pee in the pool still and not feel guilty about it?
  • Am I a sex addict?
  • Is it a super power if I “ace it” every time I poo?
  • Is alcohol an excuse for my entire life?
  • Will Justin Bieber be single again?
  • Can I have some of what Charlie Sheen had?
  • Is the #6 from Wendy’s (Spicy Chicken) the best thing in the world?
  • Do I have to wash my hands if I have to touch the door knob after (defeats the purpose of the handwash)?
  • Do I have to wash my hands if my privates are cleaner than the faucet handles?
  • Do I have to hide the fact I get boners everytime I am on an airplane?
  • Why do I even take anti-biotics when I know I can never go 10 days without drinking?
  • Does it count, if it was small?
  • Is pre mature ejaculation okay if she is really hot? (Should she be flattered or pissed or both?)
  • Why do I bother doing make up drunk when I know it looks like shit?
  • Why do people sit at bars? Go home.
  • Why doesn’t everyday begin with a shot?
  • Do I admit to my children one day that I spent 75% of my childhood blacked out,making out, and hungover?
  • Does alcohol make you fat even if you are running around like you are in the drunk olympics every night?
  • Is “the one” actually out there?
  • If “the one” is not out there, can there be like “the five?”
  • I hate old women with botox and fake knockers, but is it okay to hate…even though I’m def getting both by age 50?