The Chronic Bitch Face

In CTL, Opinions by BlueBabyLeave a Comment


With a bitch face, you could be having a great day, but to someone who’s just passing on the street, it looks like you could punch someone in the face and go on with your day like you didn’t just assault someone. It’s completely unintentional and I honestly don’t know when it started, but I’ve grown to love it. Think that its weird I don’t mind looking like a bitch? Hear me out. There are some really great pros and really annoying pains to having a bitch face, like so:

Pro: You’re not friends with weak people. You know why? Because when you have a bitch face and someone approaches you that means they’re not easily intimidated and normally you want people like that as your friend. At the end of the day, if you’re at the bar and some drunkie tries to start shit, do you want a weak bitch in your corner or someone who has some guts and can stand their ground? I’d choose the second one, but I mean, if you can beat some ass if you need to on your own then by all means go with the first one. And if a guy approaches you when you’re in bitch face mode? Brownie points to him for taking a chance and manning up (and brownie points can always help at the end of the night).

Pain: It makes being approached a pain in the ass. It is so easy to lapse into bitch face and not know it because that’s your normal face. You could be sitting in class zoned out and someone on the other side of the room could think you’re mean mugging them. Next thing you know, you’re that bitch who “hates” some rando when you don’t even know who they are, and all you were doing was thinking about who you were going to hit up that night to go out. It kind of blows the big one to have a person dislike you for something that’s not intentional, but then again my life motto is “No Fucks Given” so that just shows how much that generally bothers me. Also, when you’re at the mall in a store, and you can’t tell who the hell is a sales girl and a customer and you would rather not make that embarrassing mistake, the bitch face doesn’t really help either considering most of the time barely anyone approaches you.

Pain: People always assume you’ve got an attitude problem. Do not assume someone has an attitude problem, particularly if they haven’t said anything. Its annoying. Also, people always think you’re having a bad day and come up and try to make you feel better. Stop. Unless you see tears, let them go on with their lives.

Pro: In fights you win. That’s it. You just win. Who wants to keep arguing with someone, when 1) It looks like they could care less and 2) if you really get angry, it could look like you want to curb stomp them. Your face is the chuck norris of being a bitch.

Maybe I am just a bitch (more than likely) or maybe I’m just trying to make light of an annoying situation. At the end of the day, no fucks given.