oscars

The Oscars Drinking Game

The Oscars are like the Kentucky Derby of the awards show; this isn’t the MTV, CMT, Emmys, SAG, or any of those low-grade, amateur hour awards show. Not even the Grammy’s compare to the awesome that is the Oscars because at the Grammy’s you have freaks like Lady GaGa and Nicki Minaj trying to make fashion statements. The Oscar’s are like your grandpa, tell you to stop being such a pussy and dress like an adult.

That said, we need a serious drinking game for the Oscar’s. I’m talking about a “Cancell-all-your-plans-tomorrow” game. Ladies who play will be getting white girl wasted and making bad bitch moves in no time. Gentlemen may as well call this drinking game whiskey dick.

The Oscar’s Drinking Game.

Rule 1:

Pick a movie from the ones nominated for best picture. Every time that movie is mentioned in any form (including mentioning actors or actresses in it) you take a sip.

 Rule 2:

For each category, pick a winner. If you lose, take a sip. If you win, sit back and watch your friends sip their drinks like the losers they are.

Rule 3:

Take a serious gulp every time they talk about something trending on twitter or if a decided hashtag is mentioned.

Take a Sip:

  • Every time an actor is asked “Who are you wearing/What are you wearing.”
  • Every time an actor/actress asked about being nominated.
  • Every time there is an awkward hug between the award presenter and winner.
  • Every time you have no idea that movie was even a movie.
  • Every time someone thanks his or her parents in an acceptance speech.
  • Every time Billy Crystal makes an unfunny joke.
  • Every time you think, “Fuck, I probably should have been an actor.”
  • Every time you think “No way the people who were in Superbad are being nominated for Oscar’s.”

Take 5 Sips:

  • Every time someone mentions “God” in his or her speech.
  • Every time someone’s speech starts getting played off.
  • Every time the camera cuts to an awkward audience shot.
  • Every time you see Billy Crystal post opening monologue.

Finish your drink:

  • Every time someone cries during their acceptance speech.
  • Every time the winner thanks the other actors/actresses he/she was nominated with.

 Pour a new drink and chug it:

  • If and when someone falls going up stairs.
  • If and when a winner gets booed.
  • If and when Ryan Reynolds takes his shirt off.


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