Where To Live After College

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1. Austin, TX

The Good: You get the best of both worlds. A college town and a city.  Throw warm weather in the mix and you are truly set. Austin has a great music scene and a sweet ass lake to go get wet in, if the guys aren’t getting it done for you.  Ladies, everything is bigger in Texas.

The Bad: You may run into one too many hobos on the street.  If you’re liberal, you have no chance here.

2. Nashville, TN

The Good: The nation’s friendliest city offers the perfect transition from college to city.  In Nashville, it is not too big, but not too small.  Every bar has live bands, everything from acoustic Lil Wayne to Kid Rock showing up in person to rock out.  If you’re coming from the north you get a little weather upgrade, but still experience four seasons.  No better place in America to complete your fairy tale by listening to awesome music, whiskey in hand, and southern belle on your side.

The Bad: Taylor Swift may end up writing a song about how small your penis is.  You also have to deal with the Honkey Tonk scene, which means you have to routinely adjust to getting blacked out and singing along to country.  Wait why is this in “the bad?”

3. Chicago, IL

The Good: The sports scene is insane. The drinking is out of control. Chicago knows how to get down. Lake Michigan in the summer makes life complete.  Run around the lake, drink on the lake, tan on the lake, eat on the lake, what else could you ask for?

The Bad: The Chi-town accent is whiny and annoying. They say Chicago is not “actually” called the Windy City cause of the wind, however, that is a bunch of bs.  Chicago in the winter is so damn windy.  The only positive out of that is seeing every girl with big ones nip up on campus.  However, me sitting in class with a cold, dry, with a shriveled up weiner makes me feel pretty harsh about winter.

4. Denver, CO

The Good:  A winter that actually offers something to do besides sitting around complaining.  The mountains provide extreme sport activities.  The hot springs in the mountains call for the most romantic possibilities. Overall, Denver is very active and fit which is good if you are not a lazy pile.

The Bad:  Most of you probably are lazy piles. Someone says “go hiking,” you say “I am going to the mall.” Denver also is very hippie/chill, major hipster culture.  So if you don’t get off to the sound of Passion Pit and MGMT don’t bother.  Also, if you are scared of heights, you’ll never make it on the mountains, which makes you an outcast in this city.

5. Scottsdale, AZ

The Good: I know you want to twit pic yourself by the pool in December to make all your friends jealous.  Lets face it, that is what our society does, we mobile upload everything to make people jealous.  No better place to move and make people jealous than Scottsdale.  Who doesn’t want to be tan year-round?  Overall, Scottsdale is a young growing city with a lot to offer in the job market, nightlife, and restaurants.

The Bad: If you said Jersey Shore was filmed in Scottsdale, I would believe you.

The Best of the Rest

6. New York City, NY

7. Boston, MA

8. Minneapolis, MN

9. Charlotte, NC

10. Atlanta, GA