So if you’re not into sports, clearly you are missing out on one of the best opportunities college can offer a slutty young female such as yourself. If you are, then you’ll know exactly what I’m getting at here. My personal sport of choice is hockey since I grew up with a hockey coach as a daddy, but really this can go for any sport. (Except soccer, I mean…really, you can do better that those field fairies).
Here’s 5 reasons why you should like (or at least pretend to like) sports:
- Understanding sports and becoming familiar with a particular sport can be a perfect topic of conversation, especially to a drunk guy who is really only worried about 3 things: the amount of alcohol in his cup, your tits, and the score of the game. You know the score of said game and exactly who scored? Yeah, you’re gonna score later too. Bonus points if you say “good shift” after you’re done fucking you little hearts out.
- One word: manage. This is my personal area of expertise; and trust me, it is so worth it. Yeah, so what if I maybe hooked up with half of the hockey team? It was fucking awesome and I left a legacy on that team for years to come. And all I had to do was fill up some water bottles and supply some gummy worms during intermission. What did I get? The attention of an entire hockey team. And who doesn’t love that?
- Who fucking likes going on fancy dates where your guy doesn’t even seem to want to be there? I’m sorry but that’s boring and you’re not going to enjoy it if he isn’t going to. What guys do like (and assuming there is a win, like to fuck after) is watching a game and drinking beer. Nothing is cooler than a girl who can hold her own in a conversation and cheer for his team while throwing back some brewskies.
- Assuming you’re after a guy who actually plays a sport, you’re gonna be forced to sit through some of his games. Unless of course you’re just fucking him, then skip to #5. Let me tell you, it will make things a lot less boring if you actually understand and like the sport he’s playing.
- Sex while wearing his jersey. Nothing hotter than that. ‘Nuff said.
So now that you’ve studied up on your sport of choice, enjoy those hot guys and feel free to interject in their heated debates about whether or not Sidney Crosby is a pussy (Spoiler alert: he is). You might even want to throw in their a tidbit about how you really hope that Jonathan Quick is able to keep up his sick goaltending skills so the Kings won’t be a one-cup-wonder. There, use that next time you meet some hot hockey boys. Guarantee they’ll think it’s hot and bring you home—or at least buy you drinks.